


Hey Bartender

by orphan_account



Category: ARMS (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol for everyone, Byte apparently can drink things despite being weak to water??, Byte can drink alcohol and doesn't get the least bit tispy so he's designated driver, Helix is off playing cops and robbers with Ribbon Girl and Mechanica, M/M, Master Mummy is a dad even when it's not his family, Min Min probably is also playing cops and robbers with the others, Ninjara and Kid Cobra aren't a thing but there's crushing there, Oh and Max Brass is off being DLC somewhere he wasn't invited, Twintelle is their parental super vision, Underage Drinking, and Biff is probably playing with cats, basically guy's night sans Helix, the only real ship is Spring Man and Byte, which is basically everyone except Ninjara and Master Mummy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 09:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11354394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The ARMS boys go out and somehow got to a bar. Byte's the designated driver - he can't even GET drunk!





	Hey Bartender

"Go to a bar with us, they said. They'll let Barq in and it'll be fun, they said..." Byte mumbles to himself, staring down the hardest liquor the establishment had to offer. Whatever it was, it was in a water glass instead of a normal shot glass, but the bot just felt insulted.

They wanted to know if the _robot_ got drunk.

Yep, totally a thing that happens.

Master Mummy is the only one that's buzzed, Kid Cobra's had enough shots to make Mummy try to get him to slow down, Ninjara's laying his face against the bar with red eyes and his very own boyfriend, Spring Man, has turned out to be an affectionate drunk. Not that Byte's complaining, having the Bouncer leaning on him and mumbling slurred compliments, but babysitting the other fighters was... less than ideal. Barq was doing his best to keep Cobra distracted, so Mummy could keep hiding every shot he orders - by dowing it himself. He's a mummy, the guy's not gonna die from alcohol poisoning, right?

The bar itself is no club, so pleasant conversation could be held (if applicable). Wasn't too big, or too small - the main bar had enough room to seat all the fighters, but was small enough it only needed one bartender. The establishment seemed to favor the quieter folks, anyway, seeing as there were multiple card tables for gambling that made Byte's radar want to go off.

While the copper cop is quite happy to find out his boyfriend's the cute, snuggly kind of drunk he would gladly take advantage of if they were at home (aka snuggling), There's still... everyone else. Ninjara literally hasn't moved for five minutes, and Kid Cobra's not leaning on Master Mimmy and babbling about how cute Ninjara is. Barq was now sitting near Byte's stool as Spring Man murmurs something about taking his boyfriend to sonewhere the can be alone. The currently tispy hero rubs his face against where Byte's bicep should be, groping at the robot's non existant butt. Yeah, Spring Man is making it very difficult to be a proper copper bot right now... 

Ninjara sits up, finally, and seems heavily disoriented. Kid Cobra flops on the ninja, giggling something about the other being cute. Master Mummy is starting to get completely wasted from all the shots he stole from Kid Cobra earlier, making a sad groaning noise. The ninja student and the kid both flip to look Mummy over, sympathy etched on their faces as the both reach to pat Mummy's shoulder. The dead man starts to cry, flopping on the bar and nearly breaking it - leaving the poor bartender confused as he shuffles towards Byte's side of the bar.

"Is... is he alright?" The tender whispers after he leans over to Byte, discreetly pointing at the wailing mummy. Kid Cobra has pulled the guy into a hug, while Ninjara hugs Kid Cobra. Master Mummy just whimpers.

"He misses his family. Work hasn't let him see them in a week." Byte replies in the same, low voice as Spring Man starts to "sneak" his way into the other's lap. 

"O-oh, poor dear. I need to cut him off for now - he and Cobra... please get them home safe, officer Byte." That was the end of the conversation as the man braves the three crying ARMS fighters to pick up their glasses. Barq whines, and honestly Byte's had enough of this too. The cop slips out of his chair, much to Spring Man's disappointment, only to turn and scoop up the hero. 

"Alright, we're heading back. Wait here." Byte instructs as Barq perks up, waiting near the other three drunks like a good boy as the cop bot leaves briefly to put Spring Man in the car. The bot almost gets caught up in the affection Spring Man's giving him - the Bouncer know how to drive that bot wild - but holds fast to his duty and buckles him in so he can't move. Spring Man pouts at him, but Byte goes in for Ninjara.

Returning with the ninja, sobbing into his shoulder, was much easier than actually trying to catch the guy in a match. He grew clingy, and made Spring Man jealous when he wouldn't get off, but Byte managed all the same and buckled him into the seat behind the passanger's. Next was Master Mummy, and Kid Cobra.

The hardest part of Master Mummy was getting him in the vehicle. It wasn't a huge car, mind you - it could carry everyone (Barq included) - but it was more a well worn pick up truck than anything else. Master Mummy has to ride in the truck bed, which led Byte to fear that the Mummy might hop out and run to find his family. However, enough coaxing and gentleness was enough to get the dead man walking into the truck bed and to stay in there with Barq. Kid Cobra was easy, and Byte practically threw him in the truck. Once everyone who could be was belted in, Byte hopped into the driver's seat and began the awkward drive to take everyone home.

Granted, it was only awkward because Ninjara and Kid Cobra started making out, but still.

Master Mummy was first, sent back home to his family. Byte apologized for his intoxication, but could tell the family was just hapoy he was home for a while. A bit of time was wasted when Barq also hopped out of the truck and got into a quick game with Mummy's son, but it was forgiven since Byte had gotten a bit distracted talking with Mummy's wife as well. Nothing too long for the drunks in the car, of course, but Byte was pleased to have met the ones Mummy always roars about.

Next was Ninjara, and by extent Kid Cobra. Byte figures if they're still going for it, the pair can just stay in the same spot. It was a bit of an effort to stop Ninjara from smooching Kid Cobra long enough to get him out of the truck (which Byte was blessing for being a four seater). The ninja whined when the other was rem over, so the copper bot just let Cobra out and the pair took off for Ninjara's dorm right away. No 'thank you Byte' or anything.

Darn Hooligans.

Lastly, was Spring Man. Not that it mattered much, as Spring Man's home is Byte and Barq's home as much as the reverse is true, so once the old truck was parked in front of the Bouncer's apartment building, Spring Man got excited. He leans over, having been paitent this whole time, but was clearly glad he and Byte were (mostly) alone. The guy scrambles to get his seat belt off and get out the door, only to move too fast and fall out of the truck instead. Byte frets, parking and turning off the car before bolting over to help Spring Man up.

"Stay." Byte commands and Barq hops out of the truck bed, letting Byte enough time to grab the truck keys and lock the doors. The Bouncer is no help at all as he flops on the cop, prompting the robot to pick him up like a princess and carry him to the apartment. Byte didn't mind this, of course, and happily scaled the stairs upwards. Barq followed behind, rushing up flights of stairs only to stop amd wait for Byte to continue moving.

Spring Man's asleep by the time Byte and Barq make it to the apartment. The cop unlocks the door pretty easily, then slips inside as Barq holds the door in place. Spring Man is despoited on the bed, left to sleep off some of the alcohol while Byte sets up Barq for the night. The robot spends a good thirty minutes praising his pupper, rubbing his cheeks and giving him all kinds of praise. Barq bumps Byte affectionately, and the cop is once again under the impression he has, the best dog. 

Byte sighs to himself - an exhausted sigh - as he finds Spring Man has woken up and got ready for bed. The bot flops down on the mattress, moving to lay on his right side: automatically, Spring Man's curled uo with him, exchanging affections and generally enjoying the closeness.

"Love you, Byte."

"I love you too."


End file.
